When it comes to wine selection, I usually go with the one that has a funny name. It doesn’t matter where it originally came from; it could be from Yemen or any of the countries ending with stan, but if it’s a Chardonnay and labeled “Good Weather”; please, take my card.
It’s the same with online dating. When I start an online conversation with someone, I usually see first if they have a sense of humor by reading their profile description. Either being funny or not funny but at least they tried… The profile of smiling people like they were unaware that their pictures were being taken while they were having a great time works best on me. But the odds aren’t usually in my favor since most of them don’t usually swipe right on my Tinder profile so we never really have a chat. My profile was a picture of my wearing cap, looking like a boy toy. The message I accidentally conveyed ‘I’m a toy.’
As a result; I made a decent first impression but then I never saw my dates again. It was a time when I was super self-conscious about my relationship status. An article on Business Insider reveals that twenty-six is the peak age for men to find a life partner. That put so much pressure on me and the thought that constantly ran through my head when reviewing my Tinder profile was ‘Do these pictures on my profile look like me?’ Perhaps that’s why people disappear after the first date. That I don’t look anything like I advertise on Tinder.
This brought me to a conversation I had with a friend of a friend in an Irish bar. We’d never met and I was drunk enough to ask him if he thought me in real life looks like me online. The answer. Straight no. All five pictures. Nothing resembled my actual being. I was too drunk to feel crushed. I remember laughing so hard and then I came home alone and cried on my unmade bed.
I’ve stepped out of the affluenza of Tinder to pursue something real. I’d rather put myself in an offline situation where I could increase my chances of running into my soulmate; like a library, a bookstore. Under the assumption that if people see me in real life and decide on me, a chance to get a second date would be higher.
I learned the hard way that bookstores and libraries aren’t where people come to find love unless your best pick up line was ‘Ha! rheumatoid arthritis. My uncle has that!’ and it only works if the person you’ve met isn’t drunk. ‘Yeah, that looks like you. In fact, you look better in real life.’ Someone I met in a nightclub complimented on my Tinder profile.
‘Do you think I look like a toy?’
‘No, you are human,’ he said, ‘the most interesting guy I have ever…’ and then he passed out. I handed over my business card as we carried him into an Uber car. But I’ve never seen him again.
Months have gone by and I learned that it’s not just me having this problem — dating. There are a few people in their thirties working at my office struggling to find dates. They asked me what’s Tinder and how it works. I felt as if I’m a dating guru, the only guy who knows Tinder and holds the key to them getting laid. A woman is in a relationship with an Indian guy she matched on the app. A man is seeing a nurse and they joined several city marathons together over the course of two months. I am still struggling to find the right guy and waiting for the right match.
It’s unfair to you, my dear readers, that this is the first time ever that I address something personal that really is an attempt in trying to connect with you. I must apologize for taking so long to do this!
The media world is crazy and I must find a way to survive and save the art of writing by learning to change the form of storytelling to video. (It’s not a Vlog I promise and I’m not going to quit writing!) I am pleased to announce that it will be ready to publish in a couple of weeks time.
What’s else? I will publish my first book in English language, the content is taken from the blog posts here (plus new stories that never been published) but I will expand the story and offer greater details and insights.
Is that me?
A video maker (I would love to be called a filmmaker but I think it’s too soon for that!) An author, an artist, a content marketer working in education media. I am learning Arabic online from a Yemeni teacher who lost his students due to war and I am documenting these lessons. I feel like I should buy that IKEA hat hanger already.
Are they me?
I supposed. I’m so so full of flaws and you see me through in my writing. You can hurt me in person with what you learned from the words I wrote and published here. But I’m not going to stop creating.
That’s all I need. And, perhaps, an addition of the right kind of wine that makes me laugh.